"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
