I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
