I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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