Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
