Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
