if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
