they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
