he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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