Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
