so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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