we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
