I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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