I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize