margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
