"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she peed on how many people?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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