Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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