so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I have aggressive nipples.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
