It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
