somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
