Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
