he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
