Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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