he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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