Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
