uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
