I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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