I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
