KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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