What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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