he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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