And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
