...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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