ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
