Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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