i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
