i barfeds in our rink
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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