The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
