I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
