I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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