Say something about gay babies.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
