I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
