bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
