At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
