Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm eating all of the evidence.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
