Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I hate all girls vehemently.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
