no you cant smoke seaweed
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
