69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I love you.
Bad choice
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
