I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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