you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
