it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I have tasted many bathrooms
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
