Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
