Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
